A hopeful program recipient who is ready to move from TTTC to PAIF

Hi there, my name is Susan, you know me better as Trippleb.  I've been on the boards longer then the IF board existed. Back in the days when TTTC was the only board.  Then they split and I had really hard time moving from TTTC to the Infertilty board.  I know the clinical definition of infertility but for me that word sounded so permanent.  I was not going to admit that my troubles TTC were a permanent thing.  I moved over....but reluctantly.  Everyone that I knew and followed were on the IF board and quite frankly it was a better fit for me based on my age and diagnosis. 

I met my future husband when I was 35 and after a year and half of dating we married.  I wasn't someone who put career first.  I just really hadn't met the right man before that.  I always wanted to be a mom and although I figured I might have some issues conceiving (family history of endo) I had really hoped I beat the odds.  After the initial 6 months of nothing happening, I attempted to seek help but due to some uncertainty with our jobs, health insurance and some bad advice from my benefits counselor, I put it off.  Eventually we sought an RE but was put on a four month waiting list before we could be seen.  If only I had the time back I would have done things so differently but like they say hindsight is 20/20 and I still held hope that it was only a matter of time.
Fast forward to today. It's been almost 5 years TTC and 3.5 years after starting treatments.  We now have 3 high stim IVF's and one low stim under our belts with merely a chemical pregnancy to show for it.    I recently underwent my third laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis and we are within the 6 month window post surgery.  They claim it's our best chance to conceive before the endo returns.
The support and generosity of the ladies on thebump board has been a true blessing.  I've have connected with so many people through their support, advice, donations and gift exchanges.  The donations that I have received in the past have help us continue forward with cycling.  I'm not sure we could have afforded this many attempts without the generosity of others.   I feel closer to many of you (even though we've never met in person), then I do with my IRL friends.  Unfortunately IF has caused me to distance myself to almost all my IRL friends and I hate myself for it but I can't bring myself to change things.  Hopefully someday I can be at least a shadow of my former myself and reconnect with people.  As of yet, I'm not sure how that is going happen.  IF is so blinding, it's hard to see past the next cycle. 

We are attempting another low stim cycle with the start of my next natural cycle (Aug 1st give or take).  We are in need of 3600iu fsh (Follistim, Bravelle or Gonal-f). (My RE will work with whatever is available) and 375iu of Menopur.  My RE is also ok with recently expired meds, Bravelle and Menopur within 6 months of expiration.  I will cover any shipping and packaging costs that you incur.  Thanks so much to all of you who have donated and especially Emily and (before her) Tabitha for coordinating this program.